April 2008
30 posts
WatchIf you can’t tell already, I’m a big fan of Obama
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I...”
– Jack Handy
Watchpretty interesting stuff
Watchthis is easily becoming the world’s most recognizable song
Watchi have a friend who’s name is pj
this guy is his cousin
Watchdon’t forget the gerbil leash
WatchI have never wanted to break an old lady’s jaw
until i saw this video
Things People Actually Said in Court as Recorded...
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
***
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law.
***
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
***
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Mary!
***
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
***
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
***
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a
different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
***
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
Watchfor some reason at the end it looks like this girl is getting spitroasted
LIKE a boston market chicken
NOT like what you’re thinking
get your mind out of the gutter you animals
Watchthe needles from a stun gun are barbed
not unlike getting a fish hook stuck in your skin
it doesn’t feel too good
WatchDoes he live here?
Yes, his bedrooms down the hall,
On the left…or on the right?
…on the left…
Aw fuck.
At least you don’t need another passport
Watchbetter prank than my brother’s
Watch60 yea’s?
200 yea’s?
300 yea’s?
jakeandamir:
Nutrition
“I’m honored to have been asked to do this interview for Gaydar magazine. It is...”
– Will Arnett gives Radar a really good interview. (link) (via davidcho)
Watchi love this video
Watchwhatever im just gonna start memorizing haha
Watchkobe’s first take
Watchthe most embarresing part
it’s all the same actor
Great Advice Site →
Texting Roulette
jakehurwitz:
Last night some of my friends and I invented a new game. Texting Roulette is where a group of people pass their phones counterclockwise and each person gets to text someone from another person’s phone. There are a few rules.
- The text can’t be insanely vulgar.
- You can veto family and business relationships.
- All texts are read aloud before they’re sent.
- If you don’t allow...
Watchi cant tell if this is fake or not
but its bloiwng my mind
Watcha video of my brother get pranked
and then doing the pranking