myseXytree (Why the internet was invented)

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

— Steve Jobs (via suzannexie) (via ladylogique) (via ronworkman) (via markley)

25 February 2010 reblog: timewillnotwaitforus


fmylife:

Today, while on a date with me boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and “that’s inappropriate for girls.” FML

15 February 2010 reblog: fmylife


upanddowns:

Stop what you are doing and watch this!

5-year-old Savannah’s Calm Call with 911

So far, so good

15 February 2010 reblog: upanddowns


21 December 2009 reblog: urlesque


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21 December 2009 reblog: ilovecharts


21 December 2009 reblog: artpixie


Famous movie quotes as if written by a proper Englishman

thefrogman:

“We must acquire a larger vessel.”
- Jaws

“I’m growing impatient with these malevolent slithering reptiles on this bloody aircraft.”
- Snakes on a Plane

“Toodeloo you ghastly miscreant.”
- Die Hard 1,2,3,4

“Please remove your simian appendages from my person, you unwashed gorilla man-thing.”
- Planet of the Apes

“There is a herptile in my western footwear!”
- Toy Story

“I shall return.”
- Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

“I am now fully versed in the combat stylings of “Kung Fu.”
- The Matrix

“I do wish I could cease committing acts of sodomy unto your delightful buttocks.”
- Brokeback Mountain

“My dearest apologies Captain, I have configured this vessel to it’s maximum efficiency. Alas, if you wish me to attempt to defy the laws of physics, I shall increase my efforts.”
- various Star Trek movies and episodes

“Does Marsellus Wallace match the appearance of a female canine? Then why is it, good sir, that you are attempting to have coital relations with him, as if he were a female canine?”
- Pulp Fiction

“I do not believe that is an orbiting planetary body, but in fact a massive facility constructed exclusively for use in space.”
-Star Wars: A New Hope

“Oh dear. I do believe that when we dined on this soylent green, the main ingredient was in fact human beings. In its defense, twas better than English food.”
- Soylent Green

“I say to thee honestly milady, I am an indifferent.”
- Gone With the Wind

“It’s an elaborate ruse!”
- Return of the Jedi

“Miss Scarlett, I regret to inform you that I am uneducated in the field of obstetrics.”
- Gone With the Wind

“Fare thee well, infant.”
- Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Did you get them all? Have any to add?

21 December 2009 reblog: thefrogman